Perfection Experiment

Months ago, I was waiting for someone and picked up a book off the shelf and began reading.  Somewhere as I was flipping through the pages, I read something about people being perfect just the way they are.  Those words seemed to stare at me on the page.  I felt like the world paused for a moment to bring the line into focus.  I felt drawn in.  I wanted to believe it, but I couldn’t.  I had all these questions and contradictions in my mind about that statement.  I felt like I needed to ponder on these words but I just couldn’t make sense of it.  The thought of people being perfect brought way more questions than answers-yet there was a peace about it that I couldn’t explain.  It was one of those moments where the world seems to stop or slow down-and that I needed to listen.  If not with my ears, then with my heart.  A seed was planted that day.

Since then, once in a while the thought would come to my mind again-about people being perfect.  And that everything about life is perfect-all the people I know, all the “problems”, the messes, the beauty, the pain.  I felt invited over and over to consider the perfection all around me.  That life is perfect right now.  That everything happening has a grand purpose and is all part of a beautiful plan.  “But what about this or that problem?  What about the suffering?  Why do I feel like this must be FIXED for me to feel peace?”  My thoughts and questions would swirl around and I would always come to the conclusion that people or life being perfect is an illusion someone made up to feel happy-like they had their head in the clouds and were totally void of reality.    I could not embrace it.  Then last night I felt the invitation again-it had been growing for days and I felt the battle going on again.  I started listening more-to the idea of life and people being perfect…and I quit feeding the “problems” and pain.

I felt invited, “Just try it for an hour or two…see what happens.”  So I did.  I saw people and life around me as beautiful and perfect.  The more I tried it, the more love I felt.  “Nothing needs to be changed.  Everything is a gift to be treasured-EVERYTHING.”  Of course, my mortal mind would say, “But, what about this problem that is not resolved?? What about this person or me-that needs to be better.  I can’t settle for who we are now.  We could be so much better!  I don’t want to say it’s perfect now-then we’ll be stuck here and won’t improve.  If I say life is perfect now-how will we grow??”  But I tried to let the questions be and quit trying to answer everything-and just embrace life right here and now.  People-exactly how they are.  And the coolest thing happened-happiness and love grew within me.  And it kept growing.  I felt in love with life and everything around me.  This reminded me of when I was engaged to my husband and life was amazing.  He and I had found each other and come what may-we would be awesome!  He could do no wrong.  Every little thing about him made me so happy.  He was perfect.  I was feeling this again-for life all around me.  Like a life-engagement:) I was in love with life.  I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face.  I couldn’t fall asleep because I was so happy-and when I woke up I felt totally thrilled to be alive.  I felt like this was a gift from Heaven-I didn’t and still don’t understand it all.  But I feel so much more love and I know it’s related to God’s grace and ways He is teaching me to more fully love myself and others.

This view of loving people right now-exactly how they are-reminds me of how I see my children when they’re really small.  The first few years of their life-they seem so perfect.  I watch them grow-and everything they’re learning is just amazing to me.  As my one year old is learning to say “no”, I think it’s the coolest thing.  Or even as she sticks her finger in her nose and I watch her curiosity as she realized she has two holes that can fit two fingers…and I love watching her learn.  I love the joy children bring to life.  They are so full of curiosity and emotions-and seem to live in each moment as if that’s all that matters.  Yet we are all children-on this mortal journey, living and learning, stumbling and sometimes soaring.  Everything has a glorious purpose.

The irony of this experience is that I’ve been wanting to feel more joy lately-and more love.  I’ve just been yearning and aching for it.  But I often just see what’s right in front of me and think something has to be different to bring love and joy in my life.  Like it’s right around the corner and I go hunting for it.  Yet it’s right here, right now.  And through the grace of a perfect Savior-He illuminates the perfection that is all around me right now.  And life is so beautiful.  And perfect.