Peace of mind. What a gift. You don’t realize how wonderful it is until you don’t have it. For years I lacked peace of mind. I could function just fine most of the time. But there was always this dark cloud following me around-if I started to feel great and happy, it was there to steal the peace. Most of the time I tried to ignore it, but it would flair up here and there and I would try and face it, defeat it, please it. “What can I do to make you leave me alone?!” I tried to do all I could to feel good, and sometimes I just tried to function and go through the motions. I thought this was just how life was. I knew heaven had to be better than this, and I hoped that maybe, just maybe, I could get in. I really thought I would stand before God when I died and hang my head in shame as He would let me know how disappointed He was in me. I am so glad I was wrong!
Like a light in a dark cave, the Lord taught me that this nagging guilt that followed me around for years was not Him. It was never, ever Him. Nor was it reality. But when I would feel bad about myself, I would withdraw-most of all I withdrew from God. I just thought these guilty, nagging feelings were true and I thought they came from God to try and get me to be a better person. If I could just try harder. If I just had more (fill in the blank gospel principle). I thought many “good” opportunities that came up needed to be done, or that I was a loser and didn’t have what it takes to be a saint. It all felt so hard! I had been viewing life through a guilt filter-and I discovered this was not only not God-but of the devil and to heed it not! Don’t even let it in. The scales began to fall from my eyes and this led me to having a personal relationship with my Heavenly Father.
And through the grace of a loving Savior, I began to taste of the love of God. It felt so good! And it wasn’t because I earned it…it was a gift. And I know it is a gift available to all who come unto Christ. Not be a good person and then come to Christ, but come now and any time. It is never too late. There is never anything too big or too small for the Lord. He heals us. I feel like I’ve found the secret to life:) This is the indescribable joy that I thought only came in glimpses and here a little and there a little. I didn’t know that life could feel this good.
I can be still. And have peace of mind. Now when thoughts that lack peace come-I can know that it’s an absence of God’s spirit. This isn’t God. Whether it’s a condemning thought about myself or someone else…whether it’s a lack of peace when I’m trying to do my will and not God’s…whether it’s something I just need to say no to. If the feeling lacks peace-let it go. And come unto Christ. He shines light on confusion and darkness and He can help us see things as they really are. It is absolutely essential to stay close to Him-so we don’t forget where our true worth comes from and how loved we are. And if we’ve never felt that love, to come unto Him so He can give us the gift.
Therefore, ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you; for he that asketh, receiveth; and unto him that knocketh, it shall be opened. 3rd Nephi 27:29
I love this article my sister sent me…reminds me of how light and loving a pathway with God feels: